Every woman has a different level of self-discipline but if you’re used to getting laid regularly stopping cold turkey may not be that easy initially. However, celibacy can be done successfully and here a few of my personal suggestions for how to avoid doing the do.
1. Develop a strong relationship with God and with people of a like mind.
Abstaining from sex is not easy. You cannot get through this without strong faith and friends who are traveling on the same road who can encourage you along the way. Read your Bible every day, pray and spend time regularly with Christian friends who understand what you have chosen to do and won’t waste your time telling you how crazy you are for abstaining.
2. Be mindful of your senses.
We live in a sex laden society. It’s in the music, the movies, our favorite TV shows, the books we read..you get the picture. If those things make you want to have sex you may need to find other forms of entertainment or be more selective. Also, watch your speech. Having constant conversations about sex or sexting will only make you want to participate.
3. Get physical!
Having a great way to burn off energy can help your body get used to the adjustment you are making as well as burn off the pent up sexual energy. Select a workout regiment or sport you enjoy and do it regularly. Go hard!
4. Date wisely.
I don’t recommend telling every man you meet you’re celibate during your first conversation. If his intentions are honorable he won’t try to have sex with you too soon anyway. So, it won’t be a big deal initially. If it’s obvious that’s what he wants why entertain his advances. Stick to men who act like they are more interested in what’s on the inside than what’s on the outside. Yet, you will have to tell him as the courtship progresses and he will have to determine whether or not he can handle your decision. Dating men who constantly attempt to get you to have sex is just dumb. If he can't respect your decision tell him to kick rocks with no socks!
3. Don’t prepare for dates or outings to entice.
We all want to look good when we go out but if your goal is not to have sex why entice the opposite sex by dressing provocatively. Plunging neck lines, short skirts and skin tight material does not say hands off. You don’t have to dress like a nun but dressing like a video vixen is a no, no. It can also send mixed signals not only to your date but to yourself. Even wearing your sexiest lingerie “just in case” subconsciously says to your mind and body let's get it on. Wearing less than impressive undies can also be a mental stop sign. You’re not so quick to come out your clothes if you think those period panties or bloomers and the bra with the raggedy straps and worn out cups will embarrass you. I know it sounds crazy but it works!
4. Put the breaks on affection.
We all want to feel wanted but pushing the envelope will only frustrate you and your companion. Constant groping, long kissing sessions, lying next to one another naked and engaging in other forms of sex will not help you achieve your goals. What fun is getting all hot and bothered and then having to cool off quickly? You know what turns you on so you also know what will send you over the edge.
5. Plan outside dates and avoid late nights.
Sex usually occurs when two people are alone so it’s important to plan outside activities on your dates with other people present to help alleviate the temptation. Have fun: double-date, go to the park, a concert, go to a café and talk. This allows you to really get to know a person and lay a strong foundation of friendship. The best relationships are built on a solid friendship. Now, alone time and romantic evenings can be tricky but if the two of you set some boundaries you can have a great time enjoying one another with your clothes on. You may want to put an embargo on midnight movie nights at the house though. Usually, the later it is the more tempted you will be to get physical.
6. Don’t treat this like a prison sentence.
Not having sex isn’t the end of the world. Enjoy this time or don’t do it. You made this decision because you felt it was the right thing to do. If you’re going to complain the entire time and stress about how horny you are don’t do it. Abstaining from sex is a time of self-reflection, spiritual enlightenment and Godly purpose. You won’t experience any of that if you are miserable and constantly brooding over the fact that you aren’t getting any. If you are going to give God you, be a cheerful giver.
Find more blogs by Jae Henderson at My Side of the Single Life, http://imagoodwoman2.blogspot.com. You can also purchase my book, Someday here, http://www.amazon.com/shops/jaehenderson.
1. Develop a strong relationship with God and with people of a like mind.
Abstaining from sex is not easy. You cannot get through this without strong faith and friends who are traveling on the same road who can encourage you along the way. Read your Bible every day, pray and spend time regularly with Christian friends who understand what you have chosen to do and won’t waste your time telling you how crazy you are for abstaining.
2. Be mindful of your senses.
We live in a sex laden society. It’s in the music, the movies, our favorite TV shows, the books we read..you get the picture. If those things make you want to have sex you may need to find other forms of entertainment or be more selective. Also, watch your speech. Having constant conversations about sex or sexting will only make you want to participate.
3. Get physical!
Having a great way to burn off energy can help your body get used to the adjustment you are making as well as burn off the pent up sexual energy. Select a workout regiment or sport you enjoy and do it regularly. Go hard!
4. Date wisely.
I don’t recommend telling every man you meet you’re celibate during your first conversation. If his intentions are honorable he won’t try to have sex with you too soon anyway. So, it won’t be a big deal initially. If it’s obvious that’s what he wants why entertain his advances. Stick to men who act like they are more interested in what’s on the inside than what’s on the outside. Yet, you will have to tell him as the courtship progresses and he will have to determine whether or not he can handle your decision. Dating men who constantly attempt to get you to have sex is just dumb. If he can't respect your decision tell him to kick rocks with no socks!
3. Don’t prepare for dates or outings to entice.
We all want to look good when we go out but if your goal is not to have sex why entice the opposite sex by dressing provocatively. Plunging neck lines, short skirts and skin tight material does not say hands off. You don’t have to dress like a nun but dressing like a video vixen is a no, no. It can also send mixed signals not only to your date but to yourself. Even wearing your sexiest lingerie “just in case” subconsciously says to your mind and body let's get it on. Wearing less than impressive undies can also be a mental stop sign. You’re not so quick to come out your clothes if you think those period panties or bloomers and the bra with the raggedy straps and worn out cups will embarrass you. I know it sounds crazy but it works!
4. Put the breaks on affection.
We all want to feel wanted but pushing the envelope will only frustrate you and your companion. Constant groping, long kissing sessions, lying next to one another naked and engaging in other forms of sex will not help you achieve your goals. What fun is getting all hot and bothered and then having to cool off quickly? You know what turns you on so you also know what will send you over the edge.
5. Plan outside dates and avoid late nights.
Sex usually occurs when two people are alone so it’s important to plan outside activities on your dates with other people present to help alleviate the temptation. Have fun: double-date, go to the park, a concert, go to a café and talk. This allows you to really get to know a person and lay a strong foundation of friendship. The best relationships are built on a solid friendship. Now, alone time and romantic evenings can be tricky but if the two of you set some boundaries you can have a great time enjoying one another with your clothes on. You may want to put an embargo on midnight movie nights at the house though. Usually, the later it is the more tempted you will be to get physical.
6. Don’t treat this like a prison sentence.
Not having sex isn’t the end of the world. Enjoy this time or don’t do it. You made this decision because you felt it was the right thing to do. If you’re going to complain the entire time and stress about how horny you are don’t do it. Abstaining from sex is a time of self-reflection, spiritual enlightenment and Godly purpose. You won’t experience any of that if you are miserable and constantly brooding over the fact that you aren’t getting any. If you are going to give God you, be a cheerful giver.
Find more blogs by Jae Henderson at My Side of the Single Life, http://imagoodwoman2.blogspot.com. You can also purchase my book, Someday here, http://www.amazon.com/shops/jaehenderson.
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