Howard Robertson: You'd Try To Marry Him If He Wasn't Already Taken
“I never wanted a woman who couldn’t operate independently of me. I needed the confidence of having someone who if something happened to me would be okay. She wouldn’t end up in a mental institution, the bills would still get paid and the kids would still be raised properly.”
If you ever see Howard and Beverly Robertson it's obvious they're still in love. The two managed to survive living together, working together and raising three children together with their affection and sense of humor still in tact. The two of them can be quite entertaining individually or together. What I noticed while interviewing Howard Robertson, Jr. is that he never once tried to interject his own success into the conversation, and I left plenty of room for him to do so. He has accomplished quite a bit during his lifetime but considers being “CEO” of a successful marriage and helping produce, raise and ready three amazing children as being his greatest achievement.
Howard was more than willing to share a few of the things that have allowed him and his wife, Beverly, to stay together for the past 33 years. Our interview was as much about him as it was Beverly, but as he talked, it became obvious that he took pride in his wife’s accomplishments and allowed himself to revel in them too. I walked away with the realization that he understood that the two of them would not be able to live the life they live, have the delightful children they have or the business they share without one another. So essentially, her successes were his successes and vice versa. And when he was bragging on her, he was also bragging on himself. WOW! I wonder how many other husbands see it that way?
JH: Why do you think you and Beverly have been able to stay together so long?
Howard: It was supposed to be. The way we were both born on the same street, yet never met until were adults and then we met in Texas at a mutual friend’s wedding. Our great aunts coincidentally, both lived in the same apartment building, exactly one floor apart on the south side of Chicago and had known each for 20 years. The other commonalities we have, the love we have for each another. It was just destined to be.
JH: I admit the two of you are great together, but I know it hasn’t been smooth sailing every day. Both of you have strong type A personalities, which works great in the workplace but can be a challenge in a marriage. How did you manage to deal with that at home?
Howard: (LOL) That’s a very good question. We’ve had our differences but leaving has never been an option. We came into this marriage with the mindset that it would be forever. I respected my wife and the attributes she brought to our union. It was no longer all about me.
I also had to do a lot of maturing. I remember once when my wife was out of town and I was left at home with our two small children. I had a 7:30 a.m. meeting and it was 5:00 in the morning and here I was trying to comb Adrienne’s hair and she had a head full of long, thick hair! Imagine me surrounded by barrettes and I didn’t know what to do. I was also trying to get our son, Trey, ready and dressing him was like trying to dress a corpse. He was no help at all. I remember being so frustrated and thinking where is my wife? I’m not supposed to be doing this. This is her job. Then, I had to stop and check myself. My wife worked for Holiday Inn Worldwide and her job took us all over the world. Any hotel we went to we were immediately escorted to our suite and it was always one of the best they had. I didn’t mind enjoying the benefits my wife’s job afforded us so I had to be understanding when she had to work. Also, these were my kids too and it was a much my responsibility to make sure they were prepared for their day as it was hers.
Another thing we implemented was “come to Jesus meetings” where we sat down and discussed the issue. I had a chance to express myself and she did the same. We left with a greater understanding of one another and what was expected. We’ve had several of those.
We also had to learn how we were different and accept those differences. I’ll give you an example, when Bev and I first started TRUST we worked in the office together. Well I am a creative thinker and when I think, I cannot sit still. I have to move around. Bev is just the opposite. She can sit behind a desk and get her work done that way. I used to have a small basketball goal in my office and whenever I was brainstorming I would shoot baskets to help me think. Well, one particular day we had several big accounts we were working on and Bev walked by my office and saw me shooting baskets. She went off. She thought I was playing instead of working when I wasn’t. When we got home that evening we had to have a come to Jesus meeting. She had to understand that was how I came up with the ideas for our clients. She has her style…I’ve got mine.
JH: The two of you have three children who are not that far apart in age and while they were growing up you both had very demanding jobs. How did you create balance?
Howard: You’re right. While they were little Beverly was in upper level management at Holiday Inn Worldwide and I was head of sales at WPTY-TV. We both had very hectic schedules and a lot of responsibility, but we also had a very strong support system. My parents and her mother saved us. I honestly don’t see how people who don’t have extended family to assist them, make it work. Also, Bev and I worked cohesively as a unit. Her job required her to travel more extensively than mine so that allowed me to cover with the kids. We both worked long hours but we made time for our children. It wasn’t easy; our children were very involved in extracurricular activities. Adrienne played tennis, which required lots of practice and travel to get to the matches. All three were active in our church, music, basketball and the swim team. Imagine the two of us at the Jewish Community Center in 95 degree heat, suited and booted cheering (and coaching) the Davis Y’s swim team, which coincidentally was the only African American team competing. We both had a hundred things to do, but our kids deserved more time than anything else.
JH: As the president of the National Civil Rights Museum, your wife has a very high profile job. Have you ever experienced any jealousy because of her success?
Howard: No, never. I have always been pleased that she had a position that allowed the world to see the wonderful attributes that I already knew she possessed. My wife believes she can do anything she puts her mind to. She is an innovator, and Bev has always worked hard. When she first came to the Museum it was called The National Civil Rights Museum but it wasn’t nationally known; now it is. The Freedom Awards hadn’t achieved that next level of bringing global icons to Memphis as it now does. It didn’t have the $11 million expansion across the street. Now, everyone else gets to see how great my wife is and the kind of things she can achieve. And believe it or not my wife doesn’t revel in the attention her job brings her. She’s actually a pretty unassuming individual, but she deals with the attention because it’s part of her job.
I never wanted a woman who couldn’t operate independently of me. I needed the confidence of having someone who if something happened to me, she would be okay. She wouldn’t end up in a mental institution, the bills would still get paid and the kids would still be raised properly.
JH: Marriages today don’t seem to even last half the time that yours has. What do you think couples are doing wrong?
Howard: I think they’re punks! They go into it with a bailout mindset and when hard times come, and they most certainly will, they call it quits. Marriage is not easy; it requires time, dedication, cooperation and hard work. Another problem is, unfortunately, too many of them haven’t seen it work. Bev and I both had parents whose marriages lasted long (over 50 years with my parents). A lot of young people today weren’t privy to seeing how their parents interacted, how they worked through adversity and stayed together. I believe many young men have that bailout mentality because their dads did it. They didn’t have a father in the home so they don’t know how to be a father because they never saw one up close. I’m not all that smart, but I learned quite a bit by watching my dad.
Marriage is a beautiful thing when it’s right and it works. Two people working effectively as a unit. Parenting was designed to be a two person gig.
JH: I know this month’s segment focused on women being able to have it all, but do you think you have it all?
Howard: I know I do. I don’t say that from a position of boastfulness. I have been extraordinarily blessed to make a living doing something I love in a business environment that’s mine and to have someone I like and love to share it. Bev and I also have three very cool human beings with our DNA we get to share it with and now a new generation, our granddaughter Addyson, to share with. I’m a very happy man. If it all ended tomorrow, I would die knowing I have lived an amazing life.
Read his wife, Beverly's, Interview.....
Beverly, Howard, Granddaughter Addyson and Daughter Adrienne
If you ever see Howard and Beverly Robertson it's obvious they're still in love. The two managed to survive living together, working together and raising three children together with their affection and sense of humor still in tact. The two of them can be quite entertaining individually or together. What I noticed while interviewing Howard Robertson, Jr. is that he never once tried to interject his own success into the conversation, and I left plenty of room for him to do so. He has accomplished quite a bit during his lifetime but considers being “CEO” of a successful marriage and helping produce, raise and ready three amazing children as being his greatest achievement.
Howard was more than willing to share a few of the things that have allowed him and his wife, Beverly, to stay together for the past 33 years. Our interview was as much about him as it was Beverly, but as he talked, it became obvious that he took pride in his wife’s accomplishments and allowed himself to revel in them too. I walked away with the realization that he understood that the two of them would not be able to live the life they live, have the delightful children they have or the business they share without one another. So essentially, her successes were his successes and vice versa. And when he was bragging on her, he was also bragging on himself. WOW! I wonder how many other husbands see it that way?
JH: Why do you think you and Beverly have been able to stay together so long?
Howard: It was supposed to be. The way we were both born on the same street, yet never met until were adults and then we met in Texas at a mutual friend’s wedding. Our great aunts coincidentally, both lived in the same apartment building, exactly one floor apart on the south side of Chicago and had known each for 20 years. The other commonalities we have, the love we have for each another. It was just destined to be.
JH: I admit the two of you are great together, but I know it hasn’t been smooth sailing every day. Both of you have strong type A personalities, which works great in the workplace but can be a challenge in a marriage. How did you manage to deal with that at home?
Howard: (LOL) That’s a very good question. We’ve had our differences but leaving has never been an option. We came into this marriage with the mindset that it would be forever. I respected my wife and the attributes she brought to our union. It was no longer all about me.
I also had to do a lot of maturing. I remember once when my wife was out of town and I was left at home with our two small children. I had a 7:30 a.m. meeting and it was 5:00 in the morning and here I was trying to comb Adrienne’s hair and she had a head full of long, thick hair! Imagine me surrounded by barrettes and I didn’t know what to do. I was also trying to get our son, Trey, ready and dressing him was like trying to dress a corpse. He was no help at all. I remember being so frustrated and thinking where is my wife? I’m not supposed to be doing this. This is her job. Then, I had to stop and check myself. My wife worked for Holiday Inn Worldwide and her job took us all over the world. Any hotel we went to we were immediately escorted to our suite and it was always one of the best they had. I didn’t mind enjoying the benefits my wife’s job afforded us so I had to be understanding when she had to work. Also, these were my kids too and it was a much my responsibility to make sure they were prepared for their day as it was hers.
Another thing we implemented was “come to Jesus meetings” where we sat down and discussed the issue. I had a chance to express myself and she did the same. We left with a greater understanding of one another and what was expected. We’ve had several of those.
We also had to learn how we were different and accept those differences. I’ll give you an example, when Bev and I first started TRUST we worked in the office together. Well I am a creative thinker and when I think, I cannot sit still. I have to move around. Bev is just the opposite. She can sit behind a desk and get her work done that way. I used to have a small basketball goal in my office and whenever I was brainstorming I would shoot baskets to help me think. Well, one particular day we had several big accounts we were working on and Bev walked by my office and saw me shooting baskets. She went off. She thought I was playing instead of working when I wasn’t. When we got home that evening we had to have a come to Jesus meeting. She had to understand that was how I came up with the ideas for our clients. She has her style…I’ve got mine.
JH: The two of you have three children who are not that far apart in age and while they were growing up you both had very demanding jobs. How did you create balance?
Howard: You’re right. While they were little Beverly was in upper level management at Holiday Inn Worldwide and I was head of sales at WPTY-TV. We both had very hectic schedules and a lot of responsibility, but we also had a very strong support system. My parents and her mother saved us. I honestly don’t see how people who don’t have extended family to assist them, make it work. Also, Bev and I worked cohesively as a unit. Her job required her to travel more extensively than mine so that allowed me to cover with the kids. We both worked long hours but we made time for our children. It wasn’t easy; our children were very involved in extracurricular activities. Adrienne played tennis, which required lots of practice and travel to get to the matches. All three were active in our church, music, basketball and the swim team. Imagine the two of us at the Jewish Community Center in 95 degree heat, suited and booted cheering (and coaching) the Davis Y’s swim team, which coincidentally was the only African American team competing. We both had a hundred things to do, but our kids deserved more time than anything else.
JH: As the president of the National Civil Rights Museum, your wife has a very high profile job. Have you ever experienced any jealousy because of her success?
Howard: No, never. I have always been pleased that she had a position that allowed the world to see the wonderful attributes that I already knew she possessed. My wife believes she can do anything she puts her mind to. She is an innovator, and Bev has always worked hard. When she first came to the Museum it was called The National Civil Rights Museum but it wasn’t nationally known; now it is. The Freedom Awards hadn’t achieved that next level of bringing global icons to Memphis as it now does. It didn’t have the $11 million expansion across the street. Now, everyone else gets to see how great my wife is and the kind of things she can achieve. And believe it or not my wife doesn’t revel in the attention her job brings her. She’s actually a pretty unassuming individual, but she deals with the attention because it’s part of her job.
I never wanted a woman who couldn’t operate independently of me. I needed the confidence of having someone who if something happened to me, she would be okay. She wouldn’t end up in a mental institution, the bills would still get paid and the kids would still be raised properly.
JH: Marriages today don’t seem to even last half the time that yours has. What do you think couples are doing wrong?
Howard: I think they’re punks! They go into it with a bailout mindset and when hard times come, and they most certainly will, they call it quits. Marriage is not easy; it requires time, dedication, cooperation and hard work. Another problem is, unfortunately, too many of them haven’t seen it work. Bev and I both had parents whose marriages lasted long (over 50 years with my parents). A lot of young people today weren’t privy to seeing how their parents interacted, how they worked through adversity and stayed together. I believe many young men have that bailout mentality because their dads did it. They didn’t have a father in the home so they don’t know how to be a father because they never saw one up close. I’m not all that smart, but I learned quite a bit by watching my dad.
Marriage is a beautiful thing when it’s right and it works. Two people working effectively as a unit. Parenting was designed to be a two person gig.
JH: I know this month’s segment focused on women being able to have it all, but do you think you have it all?
Howard: I know I do. I don’t say that from a position of boastfulness. I have been extraordinarily blessed to make a living doing something I love in a business environment that’s mine and to have someone I like and love to share it. Bev and I also have three very cool human beings with our DNA we get to share it with and now a new generation, our granddaughter Addyson, to share with. I’m a very happy man. If it all ended tomorrow, I would die knowing I have lived an amazing life.
Read his wife, Beverly's, Interview.....
Beverly, Howard, Granddaughter Addyson and Daughter Adrienne
