Shay Williams-Garrett--"Your Date Diva"
“If you’re a D.I.V.A. and you have learned the psychology of men and the art of dating and you have learned what you need to do to set yourself apart in order to become a man magnet, you will automatically attract men into your life.”
Shay Williams-Garrett started out on a personal quest to find love and ended up finding a husband and a career she loves helping others find a mate. Her dating and relationship advice is poignant and down to earth. Her focus is on education and self-correction and not what’s wrong with men and how you can change them because the truth is ladies--you can't. Her books and videos teach women how to recognize dating no no’s--whether it be personal behaviors or men you should avoid in order to attract and keep Mr. Right. I encourage you to read her books “D.I.V.A. Don’t Get Played A Single Woman’s Dating Guide to Catching the Man of Her Dreams In 30 Days” and "D.I.V.A. Mommy Don’t Get Played". They are chocked full of dating tips for the single woman with and without kids. I especially enjoy her no pulled punches videos. You can find several on youtube.com for your personal instruction. She will even coach you through the dating process if you enroll in her D.I.V.A. University. Read away, take notes and enjoy!
JH: How did you become “Your Date Diva”?
Shay: After my divorce I hadn’t dated in over a year and men would walk up and talk to me and a friend pointed out that I was giving them signals that I wasn’t interested. Well, soon after that I got into a relationship and made every mistake possible in love, dating and relationships. So I decided to do an experiment on myself and I dated 100 men in nine months. When I say dates I mean we’re going out and we’re talking. There’s no intimacy. I interviewed over 1,500 men, women and couples. I also read over 60 relationship books. I gained the title of “Shay Your Date Diva” because after all that I became an expert in dating.
I started off learning the information for myself and so I can teach my daughters when they grow up. A friend was like, “You’re going out on dates three times a week and there are women who only get asked out on dates once a year and could use your advice.” So, I started writing a book. It turned into one for single women and one for single moms, and I also have audio versions of each one. I do Youtube videos and teleseminars called The D.I.V.A. University. I also write love and relationships articles for Rolling Out Magazine and Issues Magazine. I stay pretty busy. I’m blessed because I have a wonderful husband, and I am now able to focus full-time on helping women achieve the love experience that they desire.
JH: How long have you been doing this now?
Shay: The experiment ended about two years ago. I’m married now and I used the pertinent information I learned in order to find my husband. I wrote the book and started doing the videos in May of 2008.
JH: At IGW we recognize that it is important to find love but it is also important to love yourself. How does loving yourself play into attracting a mate?
Shay: The title of my book is “Diva Don’t Get Played A Single Woman’s Dating Guide to Catching the Man of Her Dreams In 30 Days.” If you don’t love yourself, then you’re not attracting love because you attract what you are. How can you expect someone to love you, if you don’t love you? Also, if you love yourself there are certain behaviors that you just won’t tolerate. That also gives you the eyes and ears to recognize the type of man who will treat you well .
JH: A lot of women don’t believe it’s their job to find a man, especially in the faith-based community. They believe they should sit back and wait for God to send them a man. What are your thoughts about that?
Shay: If that’s the case when you’re unemployed and need a job, you can sit in your house and expect someone to call you. That’s not the way it goes, you need to get off the couch and make it happen. God gives us opportunities. He opens the doors and all you have to do is walk through it. By walking through it you are doing the work it takes to attract a man. You have to make yourself open to receiving love. You should not chase a man, but I believe very strongly in the law of attraction and when you create magnetism to you, you start to attract men into your life with that invisible energy you have. So if you’re doing that, you have no need to chase a man. I strongly discourage that. If you’re a D.I.V.A. and you have learned the psychology of men and the art of dating and you have learned what you need to do to set yourself apart in order to become a man magnet, you will automatically attract men into your life.
JH: From your research, what did you learn were the biggest mistakes women make while dating?
Shay: There are several things. One thing is not allowing themselves to be able to attract the person that they want. At lot of women think they can walk around with an attitude and you will attract somebody. You need to wear a smile. Some women think they can walk out of the house looking like “who did it and what” and a man is going to approach them. Men are visual. You need to make sure that you look ready to meet your husband. A lot of women get into a relationship and think that because their type “A” personality has allowed them to rise up the corporate ladder they can do the same thing in a relationship and dominate or run their man. It doesn’t work like that. Men need to feel needed. They need to be able to contribute to your life. They need to be able to chase you. It's okay to let him know you're interested but then step back and let him pursue you. There are certain chemical processes that need to occur for a man to fall in love with you. He can’t fall in love with you if you’re pursuing him.
Another mistake a lot of women make is having sex, giving up their goodies, too soon. When a women has sex with a man she releases a chemical called oxytocin—I’m constantly talking about it—this is the same chemical a mother releases when she is nursing her baby. She starts to bond with that man, but if she does it too soon before she gets to know him she may have bonded with a fool. Women need to wait for a foundation of a friendship, wait a few months. I suggest they wait until marriage but a lot of women won’t do that. I’m trying to give them something they can do realistically. Let a friendship develop first. Wait until that man falls for you and he’s willing to claim you and give you a title. Wait until you’re HIS woman and you’re in a relationship before you give up the sex because you might be making a bad decision that causes you to bond with someone you shouldn’t be with.
JH: What advice do you have for women who just seem to be having a really hard time finding Mr. Right? Date after date, man after man, it doesn’t work and after a while they’re sitting and asking themselves what’s going on here?
My advice to them is when you know better, you do better. Most women are literally only two centimeters from finding the right person for them. It’s a shift of their mindset and it’s a shift in behavior. Women need to take the time to find out what it is that they are doing that’s standing in their way and what they can do to get what they want. They will start to see results of their work. A lot of people let their ego get in the way. Get your ego out of the way. It’s not all about what you want and like. For example, say you are going on a job interview and you get a heads up that your interviewer does not like the color blue. Well, even though blue may be your favorite color it would behoove you to wear a different color—wear brown. With men you have to learn to speak their language and learn how to communicate better with them.
Shay Williams-Garrett started out on a personal quest to find love and ended up finding a husband and a career she loves helping others find a mate. Her dating and relationship advice is poignant and down to earth. Her focus is on education and self-correction and not what’s wrong with men and how you can change them because the truth is ladies--you can't. Her books and videos teach women how to recognize dating no no’s--whether it be personal behaviors or men you should avoid in order to attract and keep Mr. Right. I encourage you to read her books “D.I.V.A. Don’t Get Played A Single Woman’s Dating Guide to Catching the Man of Her Dreams In 30 Days” and "D.I.V.A. Mommy Don’t Get Played". They are chocked full of dating tips for the single woman with and without kids. I especially enjoy her no pulled punches videos. You can find several on youtube.com for your personal instruction. She will even coach you through the dating process if you enroll in her D.I.V.A. University. Read away, take notes and enjoy!
JH: How did you become “Your Date Diva”?
Shay: After my divorce I hadn’t dated in over a year and men would walk up and talk to me and a friend pointed out that I was giving them signals that I wasn’t interested. Well, soon after that I got into a relationship and made every mistake possible in love, dating and relationships. So I decided to do an experiment on myself and I dated 100 men in nine months. When I say dates I mean we’re going out and we’re talking. There’s no intimacy. I interviewed over 1,500 men, women and couples. I also read over 60 relationship books. I gained the title of “Shay Your Date Diva” because after all that I became an expert in dating.
I started off learning the information for myself and so I can teach my daughters when they grow up. A friend was like, “You’re going out on dates three times a week and there are women who only get asked out on dates once a year and could use your advice.” So, I started writing a book. It turned into one for single women and one for single moms, and I also have audio versions of each one. I do Youtube videos and teleseminars called The D.I.V.A. University. I also write love and relationships articles for Rolling Out Magazine and Issues Magazine. I stay pretty busy. I’m blessed because I have a wonderful husband, and I am now able to focus full-time on helping women achieve the love experience that they desire.
JH: How long have you been doing this now?
Shay: The experiment ended about two years ago. I’m married now and I used the pertinent information I learned in order to find my husband. I wrote the book and started doing the videos in May of 2008.
JH: At IGW we recognize that it is important to find love but it is also important to love yourself. How does loving yourself play into attracting a mate?
Shay: The title of my book is “Diva Don’t Get Played A Single Woman’s Dating Guide to Catching the Man of Her Dreams In 30 Days.” If you don’t love yourself, then you’re not attracting love because you attract what you are. How can you expect someone to love you, if you don’t love you? Also, if you love yourself there are certain behaviors that you just won’t tolerate. That also gives you the eyes and ears to recognize the type of man who will treat you well .
JH: A lot of women don’t believe it’s their job to find a man, especially in the faith-based community. They believe they should sit back and wait for God to send them a man. What are your thoughts about that?
Shay: If that’s the case when you’re unemployed and need a job, you can sit in your house and expect someone to call you. That’s not the way it goes, you need to get off the couch and make it happen. God gives us opportunities. He opens the doors and all you have to do is walk through it. By walking through it you are doing the work it takes to attract a man. You have to make yourself open to receiving love. You should not chase a man, but I believe very strongly in the law of attraction and when you create magnetism to you, you start to attract men into your life with that invisible energy you have. So if you’re doing that, you have no need to chase a man. I strongly discourage that. If you’re a D.I.V.A. and you have learned the psychology of men and the art of dating and you have learned what you need to do to set yourself apart in order to become a man magnet, you will automatically attract men into your life.
JH: From your research, what did you learn were the biggest mistakes women make while dating?
Shay: There are several things. One thing is not allowing themselves to be able to attract the person that they want. At lot of women think they can walk around with an attitude and you will attract somebody. You need to wear a smile. Some women think they can walk out of the house looking like “who did it and what” and a man is going to approach them. Men are visual. You need to make sure that you look ready to meet your husband. A lot of women get into a relationship and think that because their type “A” personality has allowed them to rise up the corporate ladder they can do the same thing in a relationship and dominate or run their man. It doesn’t work like that. Men need to feel needed. They need to be able to contribute to your life. They need to be able to chase you. It's okay to let him know you're interested but then step back and let him pursue you. There are certain chemical processes that need to occur for a man to fall in love with you. He can’t fall in love with you if you’re pursuing him.
Another mistake a lot of women make is having sex, giving up their goodies, too soon. When a women has sex with a man she releases a chemical called oxytocin—I’m constantly talking about it—this is the same chemical a mother releases when she is nursing her baby. She starts to bond with that man, but if she does it too soon before she gets to know him she may have bonded with a fool. Women need to wait for a foundation of a friendship, wait a few months. I suggest they wait until marriage but a lot of women won’t do that. I’m trying to give them something they can do realistically. Let a friendship develop first. Wait until that man falls for you and he’s willing to claim you and give you a title. Wait until you’re HIS woman and you’re in a relationship before you give up the sex because you might be making a bad decision that causes you to bond with someone you shouldn’t be with.
JH: What advice do you have for women who just seem to be having a really hard time finding Mr. Right? Date after date, man after man, it doesn’t work and after a while they’re sitting and asking themselves what’s going on here?
My advice to them is when you know better, you do better. Most women are literally only two centimeters from finding the right person for them. It’s a shift of their mindset and it’s a shift in behavior. Women need to take the time to find out what it is that they are doing that’s standing in their way and what they can do to get what they want. They will start to see results of their work. A lot of people let their ego get in the way. Get your ego out of the way. It’s not all about what you want and like. For example, say you are going on a job interview and you get a heads up that your interviewer does not like the color blue. Well, even though blue may be your favorite color it would behoove you to wear a different color—wear brown. With men you have to learn to speak their language and learn how to communicate better with them.
Knowing Is Half the Battle......
Shay: If you are having problems and relationship after relationship you end up disappointed then you need to read my book and join The D.I.V.A. University so I can teach you what you don’t know. This is a ministry for me. A lot of women are settling or giving up on love and they don’t have to. If I can be a blessing to someone else I’m going to. There are a lot of very happy women who will testify that they followed my advice and received the results I predicted. They found love.
To learn more about Shay Williams-Garrett and purchase her books and services visit her website, http://www.lovein30days.com.
I have posted a couple of my favorite videos by her below.
To learn more about Shay Williams-Garrett and purchase her books and services visit her website, http://www.lovein30days.com.
I have posted a couple of my favorite videos by her below.
Meet Our Previous Good Women
March 2010 Beverly Robertson December 2009 Brea Stinson November 2009 Corinne Derenburger
October 2009 Trenyce Cobbins September 2009 Cheryl Perkins August 2009 Johnnie Walker
July 2009 Tomeka Hart
October 2009 Trenyce Cobbins September 2009 Cheryl Perkins August 2009 Johnnie Walker
July 2009 Tomeka Hart
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